Tuesday we came by to find Mom helping Dad to get dressed followed by simply sitting in his walker resting before moving anywhere else. Mom and Dad have this awesome adjustable bed that the grandkids love laying on and getting a ride. I made a joke to Dad that he just liked to sleep on an amusement park ride - that small smile and a slight chuckle from him He seemed to enjoy watching Peter and Jacob laugh and giggle in his bed.
Wednesday we dropped off popsicles for Dad at Mom's request. When we arrived Dad was getting situated in his recliner in the living room. Mom loving adjusted the pillow behind his head just right. Dad isn't getting dressed any more and is sporting some very youthful airplane print flannel pj pants. He didn't have any socks on so his feet were cold on the tile floor. Mom got a blanket to put on his lap (he is always cold) as well a a blanket to put under his feet. I love the example of love in action that I see as I watch my Mom care for my Dad. We visited for a while and he watched Peter and Jacob play while I held Henry. I asked him how he was and he replied "awful". No smiles that day.
Thursday(today) Mom called and asked what time I would be in Provo for the boys swim lessons. She asked if i could come an hour early so that she could get a shower. She explained that they had a bad night. Dad was awake coughing for almost 2 hours. He wasn't comfortable in bed so she helped him move to her big padded office chair. The chair sat just inside the bedroom door with Dad in it while Mom sat on a small stool next to the door. She was able to lean her head against the wall in hops of getting a little sleep. Dad would try to move out of the chair but didn't seem to know where he wanted to go. During one coughing fit Dad said to Mom "I'm Dying" she replied the only way she could that yes he was. Mom was in tears at times telling me about her long night. It is hard to see my parents so vulnerable.
When I arrived at 10am Dad was still sleep as he had been since 4am - Mom says this is very unusual. There is a special feeling in the house. It is a sacred space as the veil between heaven and earth is very thin for my Dad. It reminds me a bit of the spirit that accompanies the birth of a new baby but this doesn't have the same feeling of joy. Mom quickly got in the shower for fear that Dad would wake up any minute. I would walk past the door frequently to just watch him breathe. He wears an oxygen mask and seemed to be sleeping peacefully. Mom told me that she had been doing the same thing - making sure he was still breathing, watching for his chest to rise and fall. I snapped a quick photo from the doorway.
Dad slept the entire time I was there. At one point Mom asked Peter to "quietly go check on grandpa" and just make sure he was still sleeping and not awake. Peter got on his tip toes and quietly went down the hallway to do as he was asked - so cute. It is the first time since his diagnosis that I have not kissed him goodbye as I left the house - I just didn't want to disturb his sleep.
Days ago I asked mom if she needed anything she replied that she needed a healthy husband. My heart break at the though of loosing my Dad but I can only imagine how this is for my Mom. She says that Dad isn't eating or drinking much at all and that he is getting confused.
I am grateful that Dad instilled in me a love of the hymns and that we always sung them. I find that the words of the hymns come to my mind when I am in need of comfort, encouragement, direction.....or whatever it may be. The last few days it has been the phrase "Sweet is the peace the gospel brings" (hymn #14) I am sad to see Dad slowing passing away but know that he is at peace due to his lifelong living of the gospel.
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