Peace

My phone rang around 5:30 this morning. It was Mom.  My Dad passed away around 4am.

I talked to Mom around 9pm last night to see how Dad was doing.  She reported that there had been no change.  That he was still sleeping and had not woken up.  Mom had managed to get quite a bit of rest during the afternoon mostly sleeping by Dad's side.  Yesterday morning Mom could hold Dad's hand and there was pressure and a bit of a grip from his hand onto hers.  By last night there was no more pressure in his hand.  She knew the end was near.

Yesterday I asked Mom when the last time was that she had had a conversation with Dad.  She said it was Thursday Afternoon - She had told him she loved him and he had told her that he loved her too.  I can't think of a better last conversation to have.

I will forever be grateful for the time that I have had to spend with my Dad and see so many of my family members. My Dad spent the last 2 months surrounded by those he loved. By my Mom's counting there have been 80 family members come to see my Dad.  He loved family more than anything.  I can't think of a better way for him to spend his final days.

I am grateful for the time I had yesterday to hold his hand.  To stroke his hair.  To feel his unshaven face against mine.  (As a little girl on the rare occasion that Dad would come to he table for breakfast unshaven he would put his scratch cheek against mine or Elizabeth or Anna and tell us good morning - feeling his face made me feel like a little kid again)  To loving adjust his oxygen mask because it had slipped down from his nose.  It is a very surreal experience to literally watch a parent die but it will forever be a sacred experience.

This morning Mom told me that she was sitting with Dad holding his arm, watching and listening to him breathe.  His breath paused and she though is this it?  He did that a few more times before peacefully passing away with my Mother at his side.  Mom's biggest concern yesterday was that my Dad was suffering.  She sounded to relieved that he had passed so peacefully.